I lost my sense of balance this past week, and I'm just now recovering it.
One of my favorite quotes is “Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time”. I saw this on a paperweight ages ago, with no author attribution. I always found it amusing that presumably the paperweight would be used to hold down the papers you might be working on if you weren't otherwise “wasting” time on something enjoyable.
Balance between work and play, self and others, has always been hugely important to me. It's a large part of why I reject the rat race. I participated in the race years ago, didn't enjoy it, and found it pointless and unbalancing. So I declined to continue participating. By lowering my needs and tempering my wants, largely by practicing some form of minimalism, I effectively moved the “ends” to make those ends meet more easily. But like minimalism, balance is a goal that is not statically achieved, but rather continually strived for. If you've ever stood on a balance board with a rounded bottom, you understand the physical analogy to the philosophical concept. Life is not a steady balance beam upon which one can perch motionless; it is constantly rocking, requiring continual readjustment.
Work on my book was one of this week's casualties during this latest act of balance readjustment. In fact, the interruption of such a rewarding project was an excellent indicator of just how far from balanced my life was shifting! The amount of time I spend reading fiction (mostly sci-fi), is another indicator, as reading is one of my primary stress coping mechanisms as well as just plain enjoyable. The amount of reading time required to balance the external stress, however, left no time for other projects. I would feel guilty for having wasted so much time reading, except that I enjoyed it, therefore it was not wasted time! But having identified the external stress (and the magnitude based upon the required quantity of anitdote reading!) I can now take actions to modify it, which will temper the reading antidote needs, and allow me to return to a more balanced state, including returning to other regretfully neglected projects.
No wonder more people aren't happy! How many people realize that happiness isn't a steady-state, but an oscillating one, and that dampening the oscillation swings requires ongoing attention, awareness, and action?!
2 comments:
I'm glad to hear you are getting your life back in balance. I missd you here.
I just spent 4 days with my brother's family on Cape Cod. It was lovely - don't get me wrong - but they just live so differently than we do, and it's... uncomfortable. It has taken me a bit to get back to my equilibrium, too. For example: my brother was extolling the virtues of a nice shower after a dawn bike ride. Sure, that's great. I shared how much I liked my shower after shoveling out my barn... and his response? "I work hard so I can pay someone else to shovel sh*t." No sense at all of the visceral satisfaction of doing physical work that is meaningful. No sense that I don't *want* anyone else doing my scutwork - though I was truly grateful to the three friends who came to help me. No sense that working with my hands to create something has actual value to me, rather than playing with other people's money and not actually producing anything tangible. I love my brother, and I'm grateful for his hospitality, but sometimes I can't fathom how we both emerged from the same gene pool and home.
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